it's hard not to read these mass killings, especially of children, as a sign of the apocalypse, an apocalypse welling up from within us. what kind of beings are we, that contain this reservoir of death? at a moment like this, you just have to think: how sick, how evil, how bent are we? what has gone wrong? what is the process by which a human being makes that possible for himself? the same thing just happened (again) in china. is this the kind of thing human beings have always done? or you just wave vaguely at something sick in the culture, or some chemical in the water, or really anything; it just fills you with a feeling of your own wrongness too and the wrongness of the whole, a sense of our species or our culture or our world as profoundly depraved, something that deserves annihilation. then the next day it's back to the commute. we forget again that we are ourselves the end.