as i travel this amazing land, i meet many people just like you -- in fact precisely, uncannily like you. they ask me, 'senator sartwell, what would you do to restore america's greatness?'
but let's not get ahead of ourselves. if elected, i will strive to make america mediocre again, if indeed we have ever risen to mediocrity in the past. you can't get from here to great without passing through mediocre, and of course you can't get to 'great again' at all, more or less. let's work on second-rate; i realize that is utopian in itself, but i am a congenital optimist! some of our least obviously suckass days may well possibly be ahead of us, unlikely as that seems.