The conservative magazine Human
Events recently published a list of the most harmful books of the 19th and 20th
centuries, as selected by "a panel of 15 conservative scholars and public
policy leaders." It was a predictable list, including tomes by
conservative betes noirs Marx, Keynes, Kinsey, and Freidan. It was also wildly
inaccurate. Herewith, the real and true list, as compiled by a panel of dozens
of important experts, all of them myself.
(1) A.A. Milne, "The House
at Pooh Corner"
Charming. Yet in its slight
insipidity lurked the horrific possibility of the Care Bears.
(2) Roger Tory Peterson, "A
Field Guide to the Birds"
"Mein Kampf" for bird
watchers.
(3) Lao Tzu, "Tao Te Ching"
This book was so destructive
that it literally wasn't written in the 19th or 20th centuries.
(4) Crispin Sartwell, "The
Art of Living"
No one ever read this book. But
after it came out, the world continued to crumble into a meaningless nightmare
of pain.
(5) James Joyce, "Ulysses"
Don't ever let anyone tell you
that this is a good book.
(6) Mick Jagger and Keith
Richards, "Sympathy for the Devil"
This book was literally so
destructive it wasn't even a book.
(7) Irma Rombauer, "The
Joy of Cooking"
My mother's "bible."
(8) novels
There were way too many novels
in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.
(9) Ken Bain, "What the
Best College Teachers Do"
They subvert your children's
intellects with a bunch of subversive blabber, that's what.
(10) J.K. Rowling, "Harry
Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"
First I had to read this twice to children. Then I dropped it on my foot and had to see the podiatrist.
