call me a dreamer. but i kind of wish that james brown had been the president that followed richard nixon, and that gerald ford had been serving at the time as the godfather of soul. then brown could have pardoned bootsy collins, while nixon could have worn huge funny sunglasses and gigantic platform heels. also, i wish henry kissinger had never existed at all. brown could have healed our nation after the deep wounds of watergate, vietnam, and the mandrell sisters (or whatever the fuck was happening back then), while ford could have brought some restraint, honesty, decency, and moderation to the exploding funk scene.