once upon a time i had 3 brothers. now i'm an only child. tribute to my brother jim: vala cupp , "don't touch me" (he had such a crush) (she's fucking dead too; she hung herself). ok what happened was: we just had dinner w/ my "late" brother's wife judy. i scored a big bag of amazing blues cds: jim was a fanatic. so i reached in at random and pulled out vala's album, and remembered jim loving her, raving about her. i played the cd. got off. and then i googled, and found out she was...gone.

look. i want to be able to tell you that things will be ok. i want to write, like barak, about the audacity of hope. i want not to think that's fucking bullshit. but i do, and i can't.