back in like 1999 when i first started my big website  (which i admit is amateurish and all messed up), i had a series of official slogans. some highlights:

people who live with crass spouses shouldn't roll crones

each thing is its history

stroy

i'll give you a billion dollars,
but you can never listen to music again

decorating with weasel skulls

you may say that i'm an asshole, but i'm not the only one.

dick cheney is white

impeach jesus

our family's passion is cheeseTM

liberare diem: release the day

i deserve what you have

welcoming you with open wounds

who you are isn't something you make. it's something you face.

specializing in personal injury

writing = typing

molotov cocktail hour

i can't remember your name, or forget my own

cupid's got a shotgun

hooray for negroes!

god loves even homosexuals

big diction

charmageddon

t, the terrestrial

stop pretending to like picasso

boys and girls, everthing is impossible if you only use your imagination!

no little dumbfuck will be left behind

every whim entails its own infinity

in time, the wind takes all flags

psychosomatic circus

kiss the booboo

antinomian homeboy

the cheese stands alone

a website devoted to sex with furniture

a website devoted to pederastic bestialism

no problem is so big that it can't be solved by violence

nothing is sexier than chastity

there's no such thing as serious fiction

no way

sad, bitter little man

official child pornography supplier to the 2002 olympic winter games

official website of the united states department of justice

dick army

you're not making good decisions

sex is wrong

chair is the absence of ass

talking smack to power

new outdoor fresh sports scent

pro-abortion, anti-choice

mindful destruction

eat your head

try to do whatever happens

tear/tear

your source for carnivorous lumber

my hat is old
my teeth are gold
i have a bird
i like to hold
dr. suess

you can sigh, or give me head,
but only god can make a bed.

anal jihad

serving all your concrete slab and abutment needs