way too much tammy, i know. possibly i'm a bit too drenched in hip hop as i teach my course and need a break. so let me try a different defense of 'stand by your man,' obviously one of the iconic songs of the twentieth century for a variety of reasons. but if you're opposed to standing by your man, you're opposed to monogamy. that's your perogative, of course - you bobby brown bitch. i'm kind of into the idea myself. heterosexuality is a rich, complicated landscape, with all kinds of gender roles and stuff. it might have had some connection to the subordination of women, of course. but you know i don't think we can really help ourselves: we were born this way; this is who we are, not what we chose; it's an identity, not a lifestyle. perhaps heterosexual marriage failed as an idea; it just wasn't practicable. but it had a certain compelling yin/yang quality. and of course even heterosexuals should be able to marry whomever they please. tammy explored every mood and moment of heterosexual romantic love - complementarity - from infatuation to conflagration. but it took hillary clinton to really live this particular song fully.