we might not really be able to get a handle on tsunamis, uncontrolled fission reactions, or libyan airspace. but we can hope to control the yapyap of gilbert gottfried, fitty, haley barbour's staff, and ucla undergraduates. thank god that profound features of the world remain within the scope of our magnificent power! our words are our world. now shut the hell up. i don't know which is worse, nuclear meltdown or twitter one-liners about nuclear meltdown. let us all, as human beings, mobilize to silence comedians. where do i text my contribution? have we no empathy (oops sorry lisa)? just imagine how you'd feel if, like so many victims of the disaster, you were puking from radiation sickness as you sifted through the rubble, looking for your mom's corpse and reading 50 cent's twitter feed. you'd be all like "wtf? that's so insensitive."