does mitt romney understand *me*?

as an average undecided voter in a swing state, what i really want to know is, who understands me and my typical american life? who shares my dreams, my struggles? who has really mastered my epistemology or my fundamental ontology? have these people even read my fucking books? who best grasps my brutal assessment of bruce springsteen? who has most thoroughly interviewed my therapist and my ex-wfe? who knows me better than i know myself, knows what i want even as i reject it? who grasps the incomparable unique infinite inwardness of my authentic existential subjectivity, my inexpressible arbitrary dasein? this is all any human being wants from their political leadership, finally, and i am going to pull it out of mitt romney with a toilet plunger. you will indeed feel my pain.