8:15 bolo on a dark-skinned individual in a black hoodie. if anyone sees anything like that, shoot to kill. dude. it's trayvon martin. while you're at it, intern all white male loners.
7:25 sources tell me that the winklevoss twins are under suspicion. those fuckers hate america.
6:12 or wait. of course. it's a coup by ben bernanke.
6:00 PM obviously, the obama administration staged the explosions in boston so they could declare martial law and fully implement nationalized healthcare. no doubt they justify this to themselves with the fact that they'll be able to offer treatment to the victims of their own dastardly crimes!!
be sure to listen for anagrams and codes in the president's statement.
