i don't blame john kennedy for being a pretty party boy whose biggest legislative priorities were pills and poontang. no one's really in control of stuff like that about themselves, and he did what the best and brightest do do in such a situation: he hired good writers and delivered their woolly hooha with remarkable pseudo-sincerity. no, i blame us, the idiots, for following someone like that around drooling and throwing money. basically, all anyone wants is to find a model and do what he says. there's a thin line between politica and erotica.
what would kennedy have done if he had lived? how would history have been so very different? as it turns out, he made sgt. pepper two years before the beatles and revolutionized world pop. then he nuked hanoi. then he gave everyone everything on their christmas list. finally he died in a freak chimpanzee attack. the chimp's digestive tract was the only remaining source of dna, so when we cloned kennedy to be our pres again, we had to clone him from chimp shit. chimpshit kennedy exuded so much charisma you could smell him in central asia from the white house. then, in an unholy conspiracy of edward snowden, pope francis, and oliver stone, he was gunned down in the streets of his beloved hohokus. when chimpshit jfk bit it, a nation lost its innocence.
but what if chimpshit kennedy had lived?