we have a clearly defined mission: to degrade isis.
consider this a bid for the contract. alright...we're pitching the defense dept: shall we say 100k per insult? dude i am very talented. i'll submit sheafs of devastating book and record reviews and stirring testimonials from my ex-wives. i'm bonded, and i certify this: every insult will be profoundly degrading yet sickly hilarious, devastating yet poetic, concise yet with broad ramifications. this will be no mere persiflage, no good-natured badinage or idle chaffing. each element in my campaign of ridicule will be wholly or at least sort of original, and can be precision-targeted at the leadership of the so-called islamic state, its fighters, their mommas, their equipment, non-combatants, your co-workers, or whomsoever you may designate.
