i'm spliced today, trying to figure out what to think and what to feel after orlando. it's a moment of reverse-punditry: i am trying to register the bewilderment, the numbness, the conflicting emotions, my own incoherent ideas, my attempt to believe in something. what i'm hoping is that this expresses other peoples' experience too. (correction: i've argued that the government shouldn't control all the weapons.)
trump was horrible today, and i wish in general politicians and everyone else would pause for a human, confused, self-reflective response rather than just dropping an event into whatever bucket they've got. but that too is human: we want to comprehend. but we are satisfied with ersatz comprehension, instant categorization. this is a way the intelligence with which we continuously congratulate ourselves, our great adaptation, the miracle of consciousness, and so on, go terribly wrong. it's what might extinguish us eventually. it's the intellectual form that is part of what leads us to war, bigotry, slavery, and, in short, killing.
